The Pursuit of Calmness

Saying goodbye to overwhelm

A man wearing workwear on a tricycle trying to juggle many items such as a book, phone, pen, scissors, calculator, etc

Hi ADHDers!

If you’re wondering whether this title was inspired by the movie ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’, then yes!

I’m currently in bed watching it on Netflix as I write this newsletter.

Ever feel like your ADHD brain has its own multiverse of chaos? Like there are different portals, road paths, and cabinets full of curiosities?

So I’m not the only one!

I’ve always thought an ADHD diagnosis should come with a temporary personal assistant.

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Overwhelm

I don’t know about you but I get overwhelmed so easily. Like the tiniest inconvenience stresses me out…. for all of 60 seconds.

But I want to change this because it’s exhausting and every day won’t be smooth sailing.

I get overwhelmed:

• Trying to stay on top of and juggle many things. Partly due to poor organization skills and my on-the-go ADHD brain.

• I tend to ‘freestyle’ the day. I’m no fan of structure or routine, I plan (a little) but all of this feels like I put myself in a cage. I’ve been better at this recently because of the line management responsibilities I have at work.

• I have so many responsibilities and commitments that my ADHD brain can’t keep up with. It’s not my brain’s fault, my ways of working isn’t sustainable.

You’re probably tired of me whining. But where else am I supposed to go?

Okay, let’s get practical now. What are things we can do to stop being overwhelmed?

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1. Politely saying no to additional commitments

I’m getting good at this! Here’s my line: “As much as I’d love to, I’m afraid that I don’t have the capacity right now”. I like to end with a suggestion or signpost if I can.

This line has worked for me when I use it. The problem occurs when I don’t use it. There’s a part of me that thinks I can take on so many things, so I underestimate how much time and energy goes into something, which leads to overwhelm.

I also feel guilty when I say ‘no’ to people.

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2. LET IT GO, LET IT GOOOOOO

In the words of Snoop Dogg, drop it like it’s hot!

A GIF of snoop dogg and Pharell in the drop it like its hot music video

Let’s be honest, some of us have way too many responsibilities, hobbies, volunteering obligations, projects, ‘I can help you with that’ commitments.

Or are in a job that is sooooooo demanding that it sucks the life out of you. Ringing any bells?

Brutal prioritization might be the only option. What are you okay with dropping? Maybe you can put it on ‘pause’ and revisit it when you have more bandwidth.

Maybe it’s worth considering a career switch or a move to another organization that appreciates work-life balance and wellbeing.

Have an honest talk with yourself. I’ve been avoiding it, writing this newsletter is the closest I’ve come to it lol.

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I can’t think of a third point right now. But this is your cue to share some suggestions in the comments below.

I want to make more space for the things I love. I yearn to be fulfilled and not drained feeling lifeless at the end of every working day. I no longer want to miss opportunities that would fill me with joy.

Brutal prioritization, taking things off my plate, and rerouting my path is what I’m now focusing on.

Would you believe me if I told you I went on a tangent? I never planned to write 80% of this, but my good friend Hyperfocus told me to keep going.

Rach, with ADHD.