So I’m sitting here, writing a new newsletter titled ‘Because I have ADHD’. All of a sudden, I get writer’s block. A dark cloud of nothingness interrupted what seemed clear as day a few moments ago. Time to switch gears. I started this newsletter as basically a diary entry of how I felt and what I’d learned navigating a recent ADHD diagnosis in my 20s. As I’ve learned more about myself and also ADHD, I shared more here and on Twitter, Instagram, and other platforms.
Great post Rachel. It is not easy to be so vulnerable and transparent on your journey, as this inadvertently exposes you to ignorant folx and those not intent on discourse but debate. But your presence is truly appreciated and important to those who understand and really do relate. We (as black women)are constantly othered when expressing very common and human feelings, but please don’t let the trolls stop you! I, for one of many, are rooting for you and love everything you do! 💕💕
Thanks for sharing this. I finally got a diagnosis at age 67, during COVID. I have had the notion that my brain functions differently than most people I know, and well I have had 4 successful careers (Paramedic, Professor, Physiologist, Pastor) and most of my students and parishioners knew that “Padre does things differently but we love him” since enlisting in the Air Force in 1971. Yes, getting off the SSRI to a SNRI had made a great difference for me. I am now “retired” at least chronologically, but still serving a Lutheran Parish as an Assistant Pastor for Pastoral Care....this is the perfect gig....I use my Doctor of Ministry competencies and have a great outlet for my energy and “words” (my wife’s term) but I can self regulate my schedule (except for Sunday morning, that is.....This got too long....can you relate?
oof, resonate with your words, thank you for sharing 💜 although i'm very 'new' to speaking publicly about this particular late diagnosed neurospicy aspect of my identity at aged 42, have defo been trolled by haters in the last decade and it's not fun at all. makes me want to hide, then i remember how lonely it's been (and is!) and that connecting with people who understand anchors me in this vast sea, gives me purpose. but protection and boundaries are necessary. we hold two things at once. thinking about your poignant words, "tomorrow will be better" and hope you're enveloped in their duvet softness. you are brave and brilliant. hope you're taking care of yourself however possible. rooting for you 🙋🏽♀️ ✨
I am frustrated that I can't remember this author's name who gave a Ted talk--but what she said remains with me and had impact. She accepts positive criticism from others who are also "in the game." i.e. putting themselves out there with their work. She ignores put downs from people who sit on the sidelines. Bravo for you being out there. Rach--and shame on those who feel superior by criticizing from the side lines.
Rachel - thank you for sharing this part of the journey. Sharing your experiences as an ADHDer out loud and public is so beneficial and has provided a lot of head nodding (in agreement) from me. I just wanted to say I support you in being you.
This is a challenge of such uncontrolled public spaces...from the well-intentioned correctives to the hot-take pile-ons. Definitely a challenge, and it's worth taking a day to withdraw to the narrower (but still large! I mean, look at us here!) comforts of your social and intellectual circles to regroup and rest.
Thank you for your post. You are brave and the comments on twitter can be difficult. I look for forward to your posts and wish you continued success! (FWIW diagnosed at 49).
Thank you for this. I’m newly diagnosed a month or two ago. Writing about it on my substack too. Some days I wish I had been more private about it. But then I would have missed convo after convo with other women realizing it’s their story too. Worth it! Grateful for you.
"Maybe I’m being a little too sensitive. Or maybe I spend way too much time on Twitter and this is a sign that I need to step back."
Maybe you're being the exact level of sensitive that a sincere person would feel to be accused of doing something they aren't doing. Maybe they're the insensitive ones, enabled by a toxic insensitive platform. Humour is a big part of neurodivergent existence and attacking someone for sharing their honest (and so relatable for some of us) experience in a humorous way is not fair at all. I'm sorry you had to face this. I do hope find better parts of the internet for your valuable and self aware thoughts.
I don't have ADHD, but have had plenty of other problems over the years, and I am getting more brave in writing about them. So hang in there girl. Check in to my "Halleson II" post some time. Be brave and fearless. Ignore the nay-sayers as they just haven't developed their ... gosh, I don't know ... something or other ... compassion, insights, empathy, or maybe the knowledge that we are ALL connected in this world, so we'd better get used to it, and stop thinking that we, as individuals, are the center of the universe!
Thank you so much for your bravery, honesty and very hard work so many won't do to reach out to fellow sufferers, families and friends of adult ADHDers with your honest writing. Do not be dragged into the stupid battles some radicalists choose. I appreciate you for what you bring to the table with your writing, which is informative, compelling and comforting. Thank you always, Rach.
Honestly you're fortunate not to have been hit by the flamethrowers prior to this -- it takes so very little to spark the haters. Mix social media outrage with RSD and it can be devastating. Take care of yourself and if you needs a social media break take it! Nothing online's worth risking your mental and emotional health.
Putting yourself 'out there' can make you vulnerable. And when you make the brave decision to do so, it seems so unfair that someone misinterprets, takes you out of context or becomes offended by missing the original intention or nuance. It acts to make expression less likely. But hold steadfast - any (unwarranted) shame or uncomfortable emotion will pass.... and what goes on in other people's heads is more about them than you. x
I can't blame you for feeling frustrated. You should certainly do what's best for YOU, if that's a few days away or deleting your account. Whatever you decide, know that I'm among the many who appreciate your willingness to share your journey. You've helped me understand there isn't anything "wrong with me", as I believed there was until I was diagnosed March 17, 2020 at the age of 47(!). No matter what and despite how difficult it may sometimes be, remain encouraged. We're all here for you the same way you are here for us.
Oct 11, 2022·edited Oct 11, 2022Liked by Rach Idowu
A lurker here (both here and on other social media). Come out of hiding to say thanks. On my own journey an official diagnosis, more than one psychiatrist has told me that I would get a diagnosis, only now going down the path though. I do admire what you do, say and how you put yourself out there. I’m used to a working environment with strong and constant feedback but not sure I could emotionally cope with the way that social media enables sometimes the worst in people’s behaviour and judgments. The couple of times I have interacted in various SM forums I have pulled back as I struggle with that negatively. You do have so much more support put there thank it appears from social media comments alone. Being a fully rounded human with different perspectives, likes and struggles is something we deal with everyday but on SM we are somehow supposed to cater and address for all. The main thing is that you need to look after yourself, if sometimes that’s a little (or big) break then do it. Whilst we appreciate everything you do you, we care about you and you need to be able to be true to yourself. In times like this, put the call out, like you now have done, so that we can support you and have your back. You have all our support here in whatever way you need
Great post Rachel. It is not easy to be so vulnerable and transparent on your journey, as this inadvertently exposes you to ignorant folx and those not intent on discourse but debate. But your presence is truly appreciated and important to those who understand and really do relate. We (as black women)are constantly othered when expressing very common and human feelings, but please don’t let the trolls stop you! I, for one of many, are rooting for you and love everything you do! 💕💕
Thanks for sharing this. I finally got a diagnosis at age 67, during COVID. I have had the notion that my brain functions differently than most people I know, and well I have had 4 successful careers (Paramedic, Professor, Physiologist, Pastor) and most of my students and parishioners knew that “Padre does things differently but we love him” since enlisting in the Air Force in 1971. Yes, getting off the SSRI to a SNRI had made a great difference for me. I am now “retired” at least chronologically, but still serving a Lutheran Parish as an Assistant Pastor for Pastoral Care....this is the perfect gig....I use my Doctor of Ministry competencies and have a great outlet for my energy and “words” (my wife’s term) but I can self regulate my schedule (except for Sunday morning, that is.....This got too long....can you relate?
oof, resonate with your words, thank you for sharing 💜 although i'm very 'new' to speaking publicly about this particular late diagnosed neurospicy aspect of my identity at aged 42, have defo been trolled by haters in the last decade and it's not fun at all. makes me want to hide, then i remember how lonely it's been (and is!) and that connecting with people who understand anchors me in this vast sea, gives me purpose. but protection and boundaries are necessary. we hold two things at once. thinking about your poignant words, "tomorrow will be better" and hope you're enveloped in their duvet softness. you are brave and brilliant. hope you're taking care of yourself however possible. rooting for you 🙋🏽♀️ ✨
I am frustrated that I can't remember this author's name who gave a Ted talk--but what she said remains with me and had impact. She accepts positive criticism from others who are also "in the game." i.e. putting themselves out there with their work. She ignores put downs from people who sit on the sidelines. Bravo for you being out there. Rach--and shame on those who feel superior by criticizing from the side lines.
Rachel - thank you for sharing this part of the journey. Sharing your experiences as an ADHDer out loud and public is so beneficial and has provided a lot of head nodding (in agreement) from me. I just wanted to say I support you in being you.
This is a challenge of such uncontrolled public spaces...from the well-intentioned correctives to the hot-take pile-ons. Definitely a challenge, and it's worth taking a day to withdraw to the narrower (but still large! I mean, look at us here!) comforts of your social and intellectual circles to regroup and rest.
Thank you for your post. You are brave and the comments on twitter can be difficult. I look for forward to your posts and wish you continued success! (FWIW diagnosed at 49).
Thank you for this. I’m newly diagnosed a month or two ago. Writing about it on my substack too. Some days I wish I had been more private about it. But then I would have missed convo after convo with other women realizing it’s their story too. Worth it! Grateful for you.
"Maybe I’m being a little too sensitive. Or maybe I spend way too much time on Twitter and this is a sign that I need to step back."
Maybe you're being the exact level of sensitive that a sincere person would feel to be accused of doing something they aren't doing. Maybe they're the insensitive ones, enabled by a toxic insensitive platform. Humour is a big part of neurodivergent existence and attacking someone for sharing their honest (and so relatable for some of us) experience in a humorous way is not fair at all. I'm sorry you had to face this. I do hope find better parts of the internet for your valuable and self aware thoughts.
I don't have ADHD, but have had plenty of other problems over the years, and I am getting more brave in writing about them. So hang in there girl. Check in to my "Halleson II" post some time. Be brave and fearless. Ignore the nay-sayers as they just haven't developed their ... gosh, I don't know ... something or other ... compassion, insights, empathy, or maybe the knowledge that we are ALL connected in this world, so we'd better get used to it, and stop thinking that we, as individuals, are the center of the universe!
Thank you so much for your bravery, honesty and very hard work so many won't do to reach out to fellow sufferers, families and friends of adult ADHDers with your honest writing. Do not be dragged into the stupid battles some radicalists choose. I appreciate you for what you bring to the table with your writing, which is informative, compelling and comforting. Thank you always, Rach.
Honestly you're fortunate not to have been hit by the flamethrowers prior to this -- it takes so very little to spark the haters. Mix social media outrage with RSD and it can be devastating. Take care of yourself and if you needs a social media break take it! Nothing online's worth risking your mental and emotional health.
Putting yourself 'out there' can make you vulnerable. And when you make the brave decision to do so, it seems so unfair that someone misinterprets, takes you out of context or becomes offended by missing the original intention or nuance. It acts to make expression less likely. But hold steadfast - any (unwarranted) shame or uncomfortable emotion will pass.... and what goes on in other people's heads is more about them than you. x
I can't blame you for feeling frustrated. You should certainly do what's best for YOU, if that's a few days away or deleting your account. Whatever you decide, know that I'm among the many who appreciate your willingness to share your journey. You've helped me understand there isn't anything "wrong with me", as I believed there was until I was diagnosed March 17, 2020 at the age of 47(!). No matter what and despite how difficult it may sometimes be, remain encouraged. We're all here for you the same way you are here for us.
Don't give up! It's that pesky RSD whispering in your ear.
A lurker here (both here and on other social media). Come out of hiding to say thanks. On my own journey an official diagnosis, more than one psychiatrist has told me that I would get a diagnosis, only now going down the path though. I do admire what you do, say and how you put yourself out there. I’m used to a working environment with strong and constant feedback but not sure I could emotionally cope with the way that social media enables sometimes the worst in people’s behaviour and judgments. The couple of times I have interacted in various SM forums I have pulled back as I struggle with that negatively. You do have so much more support put there thank it appears from social media comments alone. Being a fully rounded human with different perspectives, likes and struggles is something we deal with everyday but on SM we are somehow supposed to cater and address for all. The main thing is that you need to look after yourself, if sometimes that’s a little (or big) break then do it. Whilst we appreciate everything you do you, we care about you and you need to be able to be true to yourself. In times like this, put the call out, like you now have done, so that we can support you and have your back. You have all our support here in whatever way you need