Oh my dear, where do I start? First, my title would have to read “Way past “adulting” while ADHD and more like “ADHD for the frustrated gerontologist”. I do confess to being very disappointed when I learned that even old age doesn’t mean I have outlasted my ADHD, even with getting diagnosed while geriatric. I am genuinely conflicted about whether anyone else cares about my ADHD management or not. Not being snarky, but I have yet to find anyone who thinks I did something about helpful by not just living with PTSD/chronic pain vs. ADHD when am obviously very successful in my life. Yep, I probably should have just “tough up buttercuppped” and moved on. I pray this site is helpful for you, as it has for me. I pray everyone here gets some help, or at least doesn’t wonder the same thing I am wondering about myself.
ADHD Tax is so real, I struggle a lot with "out of sight, out of mind" with both people and things and the impulsivity around buying and rushing to do things and then being disappointed when it does not turn out how I wanted. Also, I struggle a lot with friendships, so now I don't even have close friends; I am rambling so I'll stop but thank you so much for writing this, I felt seen.
Definitely, also trying to curate habits that will aid me with some of these tendencies.
This was really what I needed today. I'm trying to tie up some year-end loose ends, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one. 💙
I relate to a lot of these. My confessions of a shopaholic related ADHD confession is that last winter I was hyperfocused on thrifty and thought about it 24/7 and went to the thrift store like 3-4x per week, sometimes spending all day on the weekend going to 4 thrift stores in a row. My partner was genuinely concerned that I was addicted to it and I was only able to break this habit when I made a challenge with them to not go to a thrift store in the month of May. It's not like things are expensive there, but a lot of small purchases add up and I am still trying to declutter the very cute but ultimately useless things I bought.
I cannot even plan to write this later: I’ll procrastinate and this will join the tasks orbital ng my world. I am not forgetful also because of the out of sight phenomena. I merely have a way leaving a room to fetch and in the next room I am following another need Or chore to do!
I am also older but “can’t seem to act my age” as most plead for me to obey this “ rule.” I desperately want to and need to pursue my interest of writing or music or cooking or serving people in need. But my ignition seems defective and what is with that steering wheel I was given. I am constantly being accused of “coloring outside the line” while, ironically I and we ADHD’s are typically more creative than is typical in the population.
Did I mention I talk too much and “interrupt?” Signing off!
During early childhood I had fear of success surrounded by on parent’s critical remarks and the other’s detachment to by closer to me. And now as an adult I have still been in the clutch of choosing among the many offerings I believe Excellence would be mine. Then, when I find a course online, my wife is sure that it is not genuine and will only last a short time and I will flounder.
Only in fourth grade, when assigned a tutor did I excel. Then the tutor was take away.
Omg Rach, I do all of these things and honestly the way this economy is set up, it’s not making too much of a difference. If I have to spend $180+ per week on a versatile nutritious grocery spread, I’m just gonna order out. Convenience and taste? Yes please. Same with outfit repeating. I like this, it’s comfy and I use a washing machine, not too sure why my wardrobe is offensive I’ll be like Doug out here with all the same outfit in the closet. Impulse spending? Yea you got me there girl, I have to cut that out too! It’s like the little girl inside of me is sad/bored/overwhelmed but hey look! We have money to buy things now! Lol definitely have to work through the instant versus delayed gratification. As always, a really great post! 💖
Yess im such a person on convenience! London had a good transport system but if the weather is terrible I’ll order that uber. The same as eating out when im exhausted after work!
Cracking up at impulsive spending. For me it’s the boredom and wanting to maybe try out a new hobby or style and then I spend a bunch.
Omg I didn’t even make the connection of wanting to chase that new feeling also! Hmmm voice acting looks fun let me go spend $600 on a class and never do it again 😩🥲🫠😭
One big purchase a month is good. Yeah I didn’t have a credit card for 6 years after my last one. But now I have a stable salaried job I’m able to manage it better
I am so glad that you mentioned that you struggle with inconsistency. I didn't even know it was an ADHD thing. If inconsistency is a person, it would be me. LoL.
I am impulsive and don't deny it again.
I can't be committed to a thing for a long time. I hate myself for that. And it why I'm fighting for an ADHD diagnosis here in Nigeria.
I pray not! I trust God much more than I trust myself. As a Christian, I know that God loves me for who HE is, and as one created in His image, and one who trusts in the death and resurrection of Jesus, I know that I am loved in spite of myself. I have trouble concentrating, the Atomexatine helps a bit and I am known as a very caring and passionate Pastor. Praise God!
I do what I call “lose words” when I’m stressed or too much in squirrel mode. Like I won’t be able to find the word vacuum.
Pre-diagnosis I was convinced I had a brain tumor. Doctor said I think you are just stressed but did a brain scan because he said I can tell you need confirmation.
Oh my dear, where do I start? First, my title would have to read “Way past “adulting” while ADHD and more like “ADHD for the frustrated gerontologist”. I do confess to being very disappointed when I learned that even old age doesn’t mean I have outlasted my ADHD, even with getting diagnosed while geriatric. I am genuinely conflicted about whether anyone else cares about my ADHD management or not. Not being snarky, but I have yet to find anyone who thinks I did something about helpful by not just living with PTSD/chronic pain vs. ADHD when am obviously very successful in my life. Yep, I probably should have just “tough up buttercuppped” and moved on. I pray this site is helpful for you, as it has for me. I pray everyone here gets some help, or at least doesn’t wonder the same thing I am wondering about myself.
Oh snap to all these. I want to increase my savings and instead i go oh ‘pretty’ or ‘ new’ or ‘finally, this will solve that’.
I hadn’t thought about it in terms of delaying my gratification. Thanks for a great post and to Tiera and Firma too.
OMG , this article definitely hit home for me!
ADHD Tax is so real, I struggle a lot with "out of sight, out of mind" with both people and things and the impulsivity around buying and rushing to do things and then being disappointed when it does not turn out how I wanted. Also, I struggle a lot with friendships, so now I don't even have close friends; I am rambling so I'll stop but thank you so much for writing this, I felt seen.
Definitely, also trying to curate habits that will aid me with some of these tendencies.
Thanks so much for sharing! Yes I’ve written about my struggles with ADHD Tax.
I lost some friends but wasn’t super close to them at the stage but I know they were mad that I was never available or was just always checked out
This was really what I needed today. I'm trying to tie up some year-end loose ends, and I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one. 💙
I relate to a lot of these. My confessions of a shopaholic related ADHD confession is that last winter I was hyperfocused on thrifty and thought about it 24/7 and went to the thrift store like 3-4x per week, sometimes spending all day on the weekend going to 4 thrift stores in a row. My partner was genuinely concerned that I was addicted to it and I was only able to break this habit when I made a challenge with them to not go to a thrift store in the month of May. It's not like things are expensive there, but a lot of small purchases add up and I am still trying to declutter the very cute but ultimately useless things I bought.
I cannot even plan to write this later: I’ll procrastinate and this will join the tasks orbital ng my world. I am not forgetful also because of the out of sight phenomena. I merely have a way leaving a room to fetch and in the next room I am following another need Or chore to do!
I am also older but “can’t seem to act my age” as most plead for me to obey this “ rule.” I desperately want to and need to pursue my interest of writing or music or cooking or serving people in need. But my ignition seems defective and what is with that steering wheel I was given. I am constantly being accused of “coloring outside the line” while, ironically I and we ADHD’s are typically more creative than is typical in the population.
Did I mention I talk too much and “interrupt?” Signing off!
I agree on the creativity point! Do you think analysis paralysis or a fear of something is stopping you from pursing your interests?
During early childhood I had fear of success surrounded by on parent’s critical remarks and the other’s detachment to by closer to me. And now as an adult I have still been in the clutch of choosing among the many offerings I believe Excellence would be mine. Then, when I find a course online, my wife is sure that it is not genuine and will only last a short time and I will flounder.
Only in fourth grade, when assigned a tutor did I excel. Then the tutor was take away.
Yep, every report card in school said “David talks too much”...I got the last laugh as I found work using my gift: college professor and now pastor.
Omg Rach, I do all of these things and honestly the way this economy is set up, it’s not making too much of a difference. If I have to spend $180+ per week on a versatile nutritious grocery spread, I’m just gonna order out. Convenience and taste? Yes please. Same with outfit repeating. I like this, it’s comfy and I use a washing machine, not too sure why my wardrobe is offensive I’ll be like Doug out here with all the same outfit in the closet. Impulse spending? Yea you got me there girl, I have to cut that out too! It’s like the little girl inside of me is sad/bored/overwhelmed but hey look! We have money to buy things now! Lol definitely have to work through the instant versus delayed gratification. As always, a really great post! 💖
Yess im such a person on convenience! London had a good transport system but if the weather is terrible I’ll order that uber. The same as eating out when im exhausted after work!
Cracking up at impulsive spending. For me it’s the boredom and wanting to maybe try out a new hobby or style and then I spend a bunch.
Thanks so much for your kind words
Omg I didn’t even make the connection of wanting to chase that new feeling also! Hmmm voice acting looks fun let me go spend $600 on a class and never do it again 😩🥲🫠😭
Some things I'm trying out to curb my spending
- window shopping on websites. I put all the things I want in the cart and at the end, the total usually shocks me out of it.
- planning my purchases - one big purchase a month (up to you to decide what you consider "big", for me it's anything over $50)
- holding off on buying for a week (or a month for something big)
- not having a credit card - this one was big for me
One big purchase a month is good. Yeah I didn’t have a credit card for 6 years after my last one. But now I have a stable salaried job I’m able to manage it better
I spent $610 on an apple watch to help my ADHD time-blindness and poor time management. Guess what? I lost it. The ADHD tax is real.
Ahh gut punch! I’m guessing insurance doesn’t cover it?
This is my confession.
I am so glad that you mentioned that you struggle with inconsistency. I didn't even know it was an ADHD thing. If inconsistency is a person, it would be me. LoL.
I am impulsive and don't deny it again.
I can't be committed to a thing for a long time. I hate myself for that. And it why I'm fighting for an ADHD diagnosis here in Nigeria.
A question?
Does ADHD affect your spiritual life ?
I pray not! I trust God much more than I trust myself. As a Christian, I know that God loves me for who HE is, and as one created in His image, and one who trusts in the death and resurrection of Jesus, I know that I am loved in spite of myself. I have trouble concentrating, the Atomexatine helps a bit and I am known as a very caring and passionate Pastor. Praise God!
I do what I call “lose words” when I’m stressed or too much in squirrel mode. Like I won’t be able to find the word vacuum.
Pre-diagnosis I was convinced I had a brain tumor. Doctor said I think you are just stressed but did a brain scan because he said I can tell you need confirmation.