Hi ADHDers! I can’t believe this year is coming to an end.
Does anyone else scream internally when people think you’re doing much better than you are? You know that people aren’t mind readers, but somehow, you wish that they noticed that… something was wrong.
Today we’re going to talk about depression.
Shall we begin?
*Trigger Warning: Depression, eating disorders, substance use and suicide will be referenced in this newsletter.*
I don’t know what’s wrong with me
Has anyone else thought this?
Like you couldn’t put your finger on it but something was not quite right.
“Some people think depression is trivial and not a genuine health condition. They're wrong – it is a real illness with real symptoms. Depression is not a sign of weakness or something you can "snap out of" by "pulling yourself together” - NHS
Undiagnosed ADHD or lack of support in managing ADHD will have you feeling like you are fighting for your life! Am I right?
A lot of times, this can lead to anxiety and depression.
The feeling of being helpless, making mistakes, not knowing why things are hard, losing a job, bad financial decisions, reckless impulsive decisions, losing relationships/friendships, and feeling like a failure - most of us have been there.
It all sounds exhausting, right? So exhausting that many of us:
Feel guilt-ridden
Self medicate, which can have adverse effects
Develop eating disorders
Become suicidal
Wrapped up in sadness and low moods
If you’ve been there or you’re still there, just know that you are not alone. How you feel is valid, it’s not all in your head and that shame isn’t for you to hold on to.
If you feel like you can, give yourself permission to ask for help:
🤗 Help might be reaching out to a friend via text and telling them a bit about what you’re going through.
☎️👩🏾⚕️ Help might be calling the mental health hotline or booking an appointment with a therapist.
📱👨💻Help might be sending a tweet out on Twitter asking for help into the void. I have come across many tweets of people asking for help and there have always been tons of people reaching out to support a stranger online.
And if you’re not there yet, that’s ok. Sometimes we tend to go through a process before we see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
High functioning depression
What do we think about this term? Do we like this term? I’m on the fence. I digress…
“High-functioning depression is a lay term that is sometimes used to describe experiencing symptoms of a depressive disorder, but to outside appearances, you look fine” - Aimee Daramus, PsyD
Funnily enough, I started CBT a few months ago, it was free. The therapist had asked me a few questions just to assess my needs and she had told me I scored a bit high on depression.
*record scratch*
I was like nah I’m fine, it’s just the anxiety. And she said well these survey results suggest there are some feelings of depression, SHE GAGGED ME!
I’ve been depressed before, how did I not notice this time around?
Well, the truth is, that depression has many faces. We also develop coping strategies, cling to escapism, dissociate and distract ourselves so we don’t have to face how we feel so we don’t look like how we feel.
So if you’re reading this, pause. How are you feeling today?
It’s going to be okay
I know it doesn’t feel this way right now. You can’t get out of bed and haven’t taken a shower in days, all hope seems lost, and you’re lonely and in pain.
It going to be okay. These are the words I clung to when I was in that situation in the past. Also the bible verse (***I’m not saying to pray depression away***):
Psalm 40: 1-3 1 “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire…”
As long as we’re still breathing, there’s still hope and there’s still time to live again.
We’re all facing different battles, and seemingly impossible situations so I don’t want to undermine what you’re feeling or experiencing.
I’ve chosen not to write a list of ‘top tips’ because sometimes we just need to feel validated, heard and encouraged and I’ve hoped I’ve done one of these things today.
Maybe I will do a part 2 as there are many things I haven’t covered.
This year has been a little rough for me, but I’m looking forward to 2024. I’m also working on merch so stay tuned!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
That’s all from me.
Rach, with ADHD.
Thank you for writing this, I’d love to know how you’ve found CBT therapy and if it helped at all.
Wishing you a wonderful festive break and can’t wait to see what 2024 brings you! 🙌🏻✨