Let’s talk about goals baby! Let’s talk about ADHD!

New year, new me?

A woman wearing an orange shirt and dark blue trousers, stood by a window sil that has a plant on it writing inside boxes of a large piece of A5 paper.

Happy New Year ADHDers!

I’m so glad we all made it to 2023, thank God! Why does it feel like we’re just leaving 2020?

I can’t believe there are now over 7100 subscribers also learning how to adult with ADHD! I wish it could rain confetti in your inboxes!

Thanks for not leaving me hanging! A massive welcome to the new folks!

It’s the second week of January and the New Year’s ‘hustle porn’ has finally started to die down!

Look, I too have goals for the year. But I won’t put myself through a brutal regime of waking up at 5 am, drinking raw eggs for breakfast, reading a bunch of self-development books, and climbing mount Kilimanjaro because a guy who claims to be a guru tells me so.

Ok, I was a little dramatic there but you get the drift.

Does anyone else get what I mean? As soon as you open Twitter you’re hit with ‘10 Habits of successful people’ tweet thread.

A tweet of mine that states” Pre ADHD diagnosis I read so many self-development books. I used to try to implement what I learned like having a strict routine and a good work ethic. I used to get frustrated when it didnt work because I struggled with consistency, now, knowing that I have ADHD explains it all

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You’re not running out of time ⌛️

I say to myself.

So you may have seen me tweet that it’s the last year of my 20s! I turn 29 in 2 weeks, ooooh scaryyyy.

I always imagined I’d be further along in life. I used to pretend to do the ‘vision’ face that Raven did in That’s so Raven and have this vision of myself, having my own house, working in the entertainment world, and being surrounded by loved ones.

Shit happens!

Let’s talk about goals baby! Let’s talk about ADHD! Let’s talk about all the good things, and the crap things, that can be! Let’s talk about, goalssssss.

I really hope you all sang along, if not, you’re either Gen Z or it was a very Neurotypical thing of you to not sing - just kidding!

What do you think of milestones or self-imposed goal deadlines?

On one hand, they can be helpful on the other hand they can make you feel like a failure if you don’t reach them. So where’s the balance?

I think I have a decent example:

• Goal: I want to be intermediate in Spanish by the end of the year.

• Why: I’d love to learn a new language and use it when I travel.

• How: I’ll take a class once a week, try Duolingo or watch Spanish TV series on Netflix.

• Realistic: I’ll go at my own place and it’s likely that I might not reach my goal.

• Result: If I don’t reach my goal, I can still continue to learn, and visit Spanish-speaking countries - it’s not the end of the world.

This example is how I try to achieve balance and not tie my self-worth to my goals. But that’s not how it always goes.

Sometimes I get frustrated, become miserable, compare myself to others, and lose hope whenever it seems like I won’t achieve a goal. This is what I want to avoid doing this year. SHALL WE TRY IT TOGETHER?

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#GOALS

In true ADHD fashion, I have not started the vision board or written down the goals I said I would last month. I’m sure some of you reading this haven’t either - this doesn’t mean we’ve failed 2023!

Writing goals for the new year can be pretty daunting. So I will leave you with 4 tips.

1. Write them when you’re ready - take the time to figure out what you truly want, it doesn’t have to be grand or life-changing to count as a goal.

2. Remember that your goals are personal, they don’t need to match up to anyone else’s. Comparison is the thief of joy. I’ve been telling myself ‘I will not covet!’

3. Targets and milestones can be helpful but they aren’t worth the mental stress. As long as you have breath in your lungs, there’s still time.

4. Pivot if and when you need to.

Welp, that’s all from me!

Rach with ADHD.