I don’t know if I can do this

The GROW model

Hey ADHDers!

I’m back, thanks to everyone who read and shared my last newsletter. It has over 12,000 views, the most I’ve ever had!

A GIF of Steve Harvey looking up and raising his hands miming ‘thank you, Jesus’

Have you ever sat in front of a desk, laid in bed, sat in a waiting room, or about to walk into a building and thought, ‘I don’t know if I can do this?’

Phew! It’s not just me. It’s a shitty feeling, right?

We’re going to talk about a model I learned recently that has helped me to find a way through some of my problems.

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There are two people standing beside each other wearing sports outfits. A person wearing black trainers, and purple trousers holding a clipboard, and another person looking at the clipboard wearing a white tank top, yellow shorts, and white trainers. Graphic by sketchify via Canva

A few weeks ago, I attended a coaching training session that the organization I work for arranged for line managers.

Yes, I am a manager with ADHD, 3 cheers!

The instructor dropped so many gems that stemmed from using the GROW model - developed by Sir John Whitmore in 1992.

Have you ever heard of it?

The GROW model is a coaching tool for managers that is helpful for goal-setting and problem-solving. I’ve now been applying this model to my personal life and goals.

As a manager with ADHD, sometimes I get concerned that my minor mishaps would render me a bad manager. For example, forgetting to pick things up, organizing things in my own chaotic ADHD way, etc, etc.

Which of course is all in my head.

But the best part of being a line manager is being able to teach and develop someone into being the best person they could be.

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The GROW Model

Now let’s take a look at the GROW model.

🥅 GOAL: What do you want? This requires the person to be specific about the outcome they want to achieve.

💡 REALITY: Where are you now from the goal? or What’s the current situation? This requires the person to be honest in their self-assessment.

🤔 OPTIONS / OBSTACLES: What options could you consider in order to help you reach your goal?

• What has and hasn’t worked in the past?

• What support do you need to solve the issue?

• What obstacles might you face if you chose that option?

👣 WILL / WAY FORWARD: What actions do you need to take? How will you stay committed? Exploring the options/obstacles should naturally enable a person to know what they should do next.

As an ADHDer these are the common problems I run into when working toward a goal or dealing with a certain issue :

1. I’m unsure of how to approach something so I get bogged down and I’m unable to move forward.

2. I jump 10 steps ahead instead of starting with step 1 and I get overwhelmed.

3. I procrastinate which is linked to analysis paralysis and fear of failure.

Do these ring any bells?

A brain-shaped face thinking about something, with a lightbulb on top of the brain. Graphic from Canva.

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Break it down

So we have a huge goal that we’re working towards but it’s a little daunting. Let’s apply the GROW model to get unstuck.

Goal - I want to become a software engineer in a year’s time.

Reality - I have beginner-level knowledge of a programming language and concepts but I know I need to be able to demonstrate a deeper level of understanding and possibly side projects in my application.

Options:

1. I could start learning from a coding course on udemy or Codecademy for a few months and then apply to entry-level roles.

2. I could enroll in a coding BootCamp that teaches everything I need to know for a few months that comes with a job opportunity upon completion.

3. I’m sure there’s a third option but I can’t think of one right now, ha!

Way forward:

For option one, I will begin to browse for coding courses for the language I want to learn on Codecademy, udemy, or another site.

For option two, I will research FREE coding bootcamps or certification courses and also paid ones that include a job opportunity upon completion,

This also requires you to set a start date and some sort of progress log or accountability to make sure you remain committed.

Also, write it all out and stick it somewhere that will remind you to do it.

Give it a try will ya!

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This model can be applied to grocery shopping, wanting to join an exercise class, a work-related problem, relationships, or family issues - it’s not a one-trick pony ;)

But look,

The GROW model may not be what you need all the time and it may not solve all of your problems.

But for me, it’s been a good start to breaking down my goal or a problem into steps I could follow in a sequence that makes sense for me.

So my suggestion is to try it out. Ask yourself some of these questions. Or ask someone you know if they’d be up for asking you questions using the GROW model to help you get unstuck.

And to help you get started, here’s a list of GROW model questions.

That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD.