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Erica's avatar

Lovely article! Thank you! I am à woman in my 60’s. I’ve spent most of my life struggling with stuff that people said should be easy. I realised that my ‘problem’ was ADHD when I read Gabor Mate’s ‘scattered minds’ back in 2018.

Since then things have got better incrementally because I’ve learnt

Not to beat myself up

To hold plans and goals VERY lightly

To appreciate the great things that my ADHD has gifted me: cognitive creativity and a fast mind

To chill the f*** out by naming and shaming my anxiety. Thanking it for its good intentions then putting it firmly in its place at the back of my mind

By learning to self soothe when I feel a paddy coming on. For me that means dancing to very loud music

And breathing deeply when I sense I’m going to spin out.

When my son was still at home, and I was on the verge of a spin I used to ask him’who am I and where do I live?’ His reply was always the same ‘ your name is Harry and you live on the Isle of Weight.’ Which was a total distraction which always refocused me.

I’m still impulsive: I bought 3 Duvet bed sets this month and 3 pairs of adidas trainer and yet another handbag instead of putting money into my savings account, but these things make me happy!

Have a beautiful year and make the best of your ADHD. Handled correctly it can be your best friend 😊

Rach Idowu | @AdultingADHD's avatar

Aww this is lovely! Thanks for sharing and I agree I think I have written a post about the things I like about my ADHD brain!

Nicola Farnhill's avatar

Great post Rach, I'm newly diagnosed at 54 and looking forward to navigating this year with a different approach. Everything you wrote about resonated. I'll use this list and add some of my own too. My top 3 this year, are to be clear about my needs and honour them before those of others, schedule fun to keep the dopamine topped up and so limit those negative forms of self-soothing and maintain a daily practice of nervous system regulation.

Rach Idowu | @AdultingADHD's avatar

Thank you for sharing I really love scheduling fun! It’s so easy for us to forget that life should have its fun and joyful moments and even when we don’t feel like it we can create it

Nicola Farnhill's avatar

Rach, its so true. We should be scheduling fun in as much as anything else!

Britt Widama's avatar

Love it. An article on ADHD written by and for an ADHDer. I found myself relating more and more as i read on. The financial side though, really struck a nerve. The impulsivity of overspending is one of my biggest oversights, until it hits later on. I needed this. Thank you.

Rach Idowu | @AdultingADHD's avatar

Hey Britt! Aww this has made me so happy and thanks for dropping a comment. The financial news consistently been the bane of my life but I’ve taken improvements year by year. Small changes developed into habits for me. But I still have to treat myself and splurge once in a while!

Have a lovely day ☺️

ADHD Recipes by Jen Moon's avatar

What's out? I think trying so hard to be a better me is going be "out". What's "In"? Liking myself more. Forgiving myself. (Or trying to!)

Rach Idowu | @AdultingADHD's avatar

Love this and wish you a great year ahead

Erica's avatar

I love the list. I hope that you have a year of enjoying being the fabulous ADHD person that you are. 😊

Joy Amulya's avatar

I’m in with all of your INs!! Perfect — going on my everyday mindfulness list. Thank you!

Rach Idowu | @AdultingADHD's avatar

Thank you! Wishing you a great year ahead

Abbey's avatar

The money one is SO real. I'm a financial planner by day and I still catch myself impulse-buying things at 1 AM because my brain decided I needed them immediately. The gap between knowing what you should do with money and what your ADHD brain actually does is a whole thing nobody talks about enough. Love the ins and outs format too, way less pressure than resolutions.