I know, it’s been radio silence at my end for a while.

I can finally announce that my eBook, ‘A Beginner’s Guide To Adulting with ADHD’, is now available to purchase on Shopify! WHOOP

If you are reading this and you are:

• Diagnosed with ADHD

• Suspecting you could have ADHD

• Wanting to develop an understanding of ADHD

• In need of guidance, support, and coping strategies

• Feeling lonely and could do with relatable dilemmas and lived experiences

This book was made for you.

I’ve loved getting to know you all during these past 6 years of writing on Substack. I would’ve never gotten through my late ADHD diagnosis without you all.

You can purchase ‘A Beginner’s Guide To Adulting with ADHD’ here.

I really appreciate all of your support.

The ADHD Trilemma

I had the pleasure of speaking at the Autism and ADHD expo yesterday on my book, and everyone seemed to relate most to ‘The ADHD Trilemma’.

The ADHD Trilemma is a framework that I developed, which describes the challenges people with ADHD face when adulting with ADHD.

Checkout my eBook, ‘A Beginner’s Guide to Adulting with ADHD’

I can’t wait to chat to hear about what you all think about the book.

Thank you so much!

Rach

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✈️ I walked calmly to the departure gate, arriving at the airport 2 hours before my flight. But there was a problem: the boarding gate couldn't scan my boarding pass. I figured there was something wrong with the gate I went to, or it was my crinkled paper printed boarding pass.

I huffed, and I started to panic.

I rushed over to the nearest airport staff member I could see for assistance.

The man looked at my boarding pass and told me that my flight had departed hours ago, pointing to the departure time on my ticket.

🤦‍♀️ It was at that moment that I realised I had misread the departure time. I arrived at the airport in the afternoon to board a flight that had already departed in the morning.

👉 This was a visible representation of the ADHD symptoms: lack of attention to detail, impatience and being easily distracted at work in my life.

💰 My missed flight resulted in an ADHD Tax of around £200 to book a new flight.

I cried so much. Back then, I was a university student intern earning around 500 euros a month, navigating undiagnosed ADHD.

The Impacts of ADHD

There are many instances in our lives when things seem to go terribly wrong, and we just can’t figure out why and how it keeps happening to us.

Like we can’t seem to get it together, and every area of our life breeds its own type of chaos.

This is how my life was before I got diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type over 6 years ago.

📖 Extract from my upcoming ebook: Chapter 2 ‘I think I have ADHD’:

“There is a misconception that people are magically developing ADHD in adulthood and claiming they have ADHD to use it as an excuse.”

People fail to understand that:

• ADHD is a Neurodevelopmental disorder where symptoms usually start before the age of 12.

• Many marginalised groups are underdiagnosed.

• ADHD tends to be missed in girls, so many women go undiagnosed.

• People who have struggled for years now feel empowered to get assessed for ADHD.

I don’t know why everyone seems to want to play judge, jury and executioner whenever someone mentions that they think they have ADHD.

A word of advice: don’t let people gaslight you into thinking your concerns are ‘all in your head’. It’s never too late to get assessed for ADHD or seek out additional support…”

The ADHD lived experience ⤵️

In my upcoming ebook on Adulting with ADHD, I share personal anecdotes on ADHD symptoms/traits, friendships, emotions, career, relationships and mental health.

Because it’s important that we speak about the impacts, consequences, and health issues that ADHD can have on people’s lives.

The book will, of course, help us all better understand our ADHD brains, with step-by-step guides, coping strategies, and suggestions in each chapter for those who feel a little lost or could use a helping hand.

• ➡️ I want you to read it knowing that you are not alone or broken.

• ➡️ I want you to read it and laugh at the relatable ADHD dilemmas.

• ➡️ I want you to read it, screenshot, and make notes of all the ADHD coping strategies you are going to try.

• ➡️ I want you to read it, believing that things can get better, and you will feel lighter.

• ➡️ I want you to read it and remove any feelings of guilt or shame you are holding onto.

Are you ready to read it?

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That’s all from me.

Rach, with ADHD.

Asking someone with ADHD what happened to the project they said they were working on is a HIPAA violation.

🎉 However, I am happy to announce that I can now remove the cloak of shame and announce that I am releasing an ebook guide on Adulting with ADHD! 🎉

This book is 5 years in the making. We ADHDers sure know how to procrastinate!

This book is for all of the ADHDers:

• ➡️ Late diagnosed with ADHD, who are trying to figure it all out

• ➡️ Who might suspect they have ADHD, and want to better understand what ADHD is

• ➡️ Who are struggling to manage their ADHD and have no one else to relate to

• ➡️ Who feels alone and lost and could do with some relatable ADHD stories, mess-ups and dilemmas

• ➡️ Who needs some guidance on managing communication, friendships, emotions, finances and juggling mental health

• ➡️ Want a list of a bunch of go-to ADHD coping strategies and tips to lean on

❌ THE BEST THING IS that there are no rules to reading the book.

👉 As someone with ADHD who gets bored easily and struggles to get through medical jargon, I have made sure it is a light read with depth and relatable stories.

✅ I give you all permission to skip to the chapters that you care about the most.

You don’t have to start with Chapter 1, ‘Navigating a Late ADHD Diagnosis’; you can skip to Chapter 5, ‘How to Manage ADHD Procrastination’ or Chapter 11, ‘Navigating Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and ADHD’.

A Book About Adulting with ADHD

“Hope you guys don’t hate me but the harshest truth I’m writing about is how impulsive spending, excessive consumption, and overspending will significantly increase your ADHD tax and reduce your ability to save” -

🎮 As a lifelong gamer, I had to include fun distraction games in the book that I created from scratch!

Reading can be fun and should be fun, so Gamification for the win!

📖 Lastly, to make things easier, I’m going to create a glossary of ADHD related terms and coping strategies at the back of the book so it’s easily accessible for you all.

Put it on your walls, desks, forehead - wherever you can easily access them.

🎙️ Ok, now this really is the last thing: I’m thinking of recording and releasing an audiobook version a few months after the ebook release *clears throat*.

👨‍⚕️ Over 6 years ago, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type, and I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am without all of the support.

Sharing what has helped me, what I have learned and also my f*ck up with you all has been so life-changing for me.

This is all scary but also very exciting. I want to thank you all for helping me to understand ADHD over the years.

Release date: I am aiming for March 29th 2026.

❤️❤️❤️

That’s all from me,

Rach with ADHD.

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ADHDers, did you know that no one has ever died from embarrassment?

If you have recently been in an embarrassing situation or you’ve made a mistake you cannot stop ruminating about, this too shall pass.

However, I can fully relate to the internal regret, guilt and shame we feel when we make a mistake that constantly haunts us.

In the spirit of normalising ADHD faux pas and to let you all know that you’re not alone, I’m going to share my 10 common ADHD faux pas.

Shall we begin?

🎯 Normalising ADHD faux pas

I used to worry that people would think that I was using ADHD as an excuse, and they wouldn’t understand, so I never bothered to explain.

👉However, I have come to realise that it is much better to explain how ADHD impacts you to people so they know that you care about them, that you are competent at your job and for your own peace of mind.

Explaining that a mistake you made was due to difficulty managing ADHD is not an excuse; it’s a reason.

The people that get it, get it, and the people that don’t, don’t.

My 10 common ADHD faux pas

1. Oversharing 🗣️

There comes a time in the life of almost every ADHDer when you regret oversharing with someone.

Excessive talking is listed as an ADHD Hyperactive-Impulsive type symptom, and boy, does this manifest daily for me.

On the plus side, this has enabled me to easily build a rapport with people and connect with them beyond surface-level small talk.

However, I have often gotten too comfortable, like at work or at formal events, and shared something I should have really kept to myself, which has been used against me.

2. Monopolising the conversation 😬

Having ADHD is fighting the urge to interrupt someone mid-conversation.

Our brain gets overexcited, and we need to blurt out what we want to say in case we forget.

I find that this is rarely a faux pas among friends, but I have been guilty of interrupting people outside of my trusted circle.

I had a RUDE awakening when someone stopped me mid-sentence to tell me that the other person hadn’t finished their point yet, when I jumped in.

I CRUMBLED ON THE INSIDE.

From that day onwards, I have been very intentional about staying tight-lipped and being very meticulous before jumping into a conversation.

3. Forgetfulness 🤦‍♀️

Poor working memory is an ADHD symptom that many of us fall victim to. I mean, I went from being convinced I was developing early-onset dementia to eventually being formally diagnosed with ADHD.

ADHD forgetfulness is the constant bane of my life, and I can see how it irritates people around me.

➡️Forgetting people’s birthdays, events I was invited to, etc.

➡️Forgetting to do something someone asked me to do, then they remind me when it’s almost too late, and I have to apologise profusely.

4. Time Blindness 🕰️

Some people with ADHD struggle with the perception of time and processing time. Such as not realising how quickly time passes, and not being able to estimate how long something should take you to do.

“Many ADHDers need time to sit around and do nothing until we’re mentally prepared, extra time to get ready and buffer time after a deadline because we are timeblind” -

🎯 How to manage Time Blindness

Shameless plug of my YouTube video ‘How to Manage Your Time with ADHD and Time Blindness’.

5. Out of sight, out of mind

‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is really on brand for me. If I haven’t seen someone recently, I almost forget their existence. And when they text or call me, it can feel like a chore to respond.

Having ADHD is not realising that you mentally replied to a text, and you did not actually text the person back.

It’s like my brain sorts them into the ‘archive’ folder in my left brain.

Are any of these relatable to you? It can’t just be me

6. Radical candour

I don’t like it whenever my ADHD brain has to work overtime doing backflips to try and soften the truth when people ask me a question.

So sometimes I can be direct, which is a big British faux pas.

If you’re not British, ‘dancing around in circles’ and ‘beating around the bush’ are pretty standard in our daily dialogue.

To be overly direct is to go against the status quo.

7. Ad-hoc f*ck ups 🤷‍♀️

We’re human, not machines.

We will occasionally mess up, and it’s just a part of life. I feel like we shouldn’t beat ourselves up too much.

Occasional mishaps aren’t limited to people with ADHD, and I think Neurotypicals need to remember that when they try to make us feel crappy about it by bringing up that we have ADHD.

8. Disclosing that I have ADHD in the Workplace

Well, I never thought it was a faux pas. But there was one place I worked where the reaction made me think I should have kept it to myself.

I’ve spoken to many people who have told me that their ADHD has been weaponised against them in the workplace, with some having to quit their jobs or being pushed out.

9. What are your ADHD faux pas? ⁉️

Right, it’s over to you. What are your ADHD faux pas?

I did plan to list 10 faux pas, but I fear I have to keep my 10th one to myself. I can’t let the Neurotypicals in on too much.

Embrace the faux pas

I hope that you all feel better about your recent faux pas.

We give ourselves such a hard time while adulting with ADHD, and we need to give ourselves a little grace. If you haven’t realised, we have a Neurodevelopmental disorder.

So please, give yourself a break from worrying, ruminating and catastrophizing.

It’s all going to be okay.

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Be kind to yourself.

That’s all from me,

Rach With ADHD.

Happy New Year ADHDers!

Is it just me who finds the pressure of having to plan and commit to goals this early in the year overwhelming?

So this year, I’m going against the grain.

I am writing an ADHD ‘Ins and Outs’ list instead.

If you don’t feel like creating a list, feel free to use mine. I mean, aren’t we all clumsily adulting with ADHD?

Shall we begin?

ADHD Ins and Outs ✅❌

My ADHD Ins and Outs is simply a list of personal habits and focus areas that are linked to adulting with ADHD.

‼️Disclaimer: ADHD Ins and Outs are in random order for the thrill of it. I may or may not fulfil them all, but you know what they say, God loves a trier!

1. Financial Hygiene💰- IN

Like many people with ADHD, I haven’t had the greatest money habits: impulsive spending, impatience, bad decisions, the list goes on.

I mean, I have an article on BBC News on how much money I have lost due to ADHD tax: BBC article ADHD Tax

So I am making this public commitment to over 13,000 of you to improve my financial acumen and habits. Goodbye ADHD Tax!

Where to start? 💡

➡️ I have deleted my saved cards on websites to prevent myself from making impulsive and whimsical spending decisions.

➡️ To-do list: Create a monthly budget, monitor outgoings, create a savings system, invest outside of my ISA, and learn more.

🙃 It is quite ironic as I completed at least five financial courses at University and did a short stint working in finance. Ha!

2. Social media, Screen Time, Content Consumption 📲 - OUT

Ok, who am I kidding?

I won’t be abandoning social media; we go together like cheese and crackers 🧀

However, I will make a conscious effort to reduce the amount of content I consume. I think we all should.

⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

“We are witnessing people who have never had short attention spans develop shorter attention spans. Unbeknownst to them, aimlessly scrolling, moving from meme to meme, and hyperfixating on reaction videos is causing Brain Rot.” -

🎯 I think that consuming Brain Rot content, endlessly scrolling and flipping through social media platforms, can exacerbate ADHD symptoms: getting easily distracted, lack of attention to detail, impatience, difficulty focusing, etc.

Where to start? 💡

➡️ Using the Screen Time feature on my iPhone to set time limits for apps. Yes, it has come to this 🤦🏾‍♀️

➡️ Doing a social media fast now and again, reading more fiction books, and ignoring rage bait content.

Can we do this together for moral support? 🫡

3. Impostor Syndrome 🎭 - OUT

Have you ever:

• Felt like you didn’t deserve the recognition you were given for your accomplishments?

• Felt like a fraud even though you have the skills and expertise?

• Felt like an opportunity is too much for you to handle?

People don’t realise that battling impostor syndrome is rarely a one-time thing.

As we navigate life, new jobs, relationships, and new circumstances, we’ll inevitably experience a level of discomfort or self-doubt.

Where to start? 💡

🎯 Perspective - Focusing more on what could go right and all of the positives.

🎯 Acceptance - Allowing myself to be nervous but setting a ‘time limit’ to sit with it.

🎯 Faith - Believing that all things will work out for my good - Romans 8:38.

🎯 Community - Opening up to people and asking for words of encouragement.

4. Adulting With ADHD 🧠 - IN

Is it just me, or has anyone else found themselves overcompensating at times because of their ADHD?

Even though I’m now able to identify my struggles by way of ADHD traits/symptoms, I find myself overanalysing everything I do and don’t do.

This year, this comes to an end. I’m going to take the pressure off and just be me.

| Parting gift 🎁

Look, you’re not a ‘let down’ because you may do things in a way that seems unconventional to the ‘Neurotypical norm’.

A lot of the time, we ADHDers feel like we need to fall in line with the Neurotypical way of doing things, even though our system and method deliver the desired outcome.

We have no choice but to continue adulting with ADHD, and we can do it.

Praying we all have a year filled with happiness, peace and new opportunities!

That’s all from me,

Rach With ADHD!

Hi ADHDers!

Over the past few years, we have increasingly seen articles on the supposed overdiagnosis of ADHD. These articles, well, rants, also promote the notion of ADHD being a fad, a trend, and claim that ADHD ‘never existed’ back in their day.

👉 Rarely do these articles show understanding or concern for those struggling with ADHD.

The use of the term ‘overdiagnosis’ implies that people who are diagnosed with ADHD or seeking an ADHD assessment would be fine without an ADHD diagnosis.

📰 This week, it was reported that the UK Health Minister is “launching an independent review into rising demand for mental health, ADHD and autism services in England.”

📰 The BBC reports that this review will also look into the overdiagnosis of ADHD, which I find slightly concerning.

Shall we begin?

The incorrect framing of ADHD overdiagnosis

➡️ The use of the term ‘overdiagnosis’ implies that people who are diagnosed with ADHD or seeking an ADHD assessment would be fine without an ADHD diagnosis.

⤵️

💡What is overdiagnosis?

The National Library of Medicine defines overdiagnosis as:

“the diagnosis of a medical condition that would never have caused any symptoms or problems. This kind of diagnosis can be harmful if it leads to psychological stress and unnecessary treatments.”

👉 ADHD is a Neurodevelopmental disorder where symptoms usually start before the age of 12.

There is a misconception by the media and many people that individuals who require ADHD services have magically developed ADHD symptoms in adulthood.

They fail to consider that:

➡️ People’s symptoms can worsen over time due to a lack of support and treatment

➡️ Many people develop co-occurring health conditions as a result of unidentified or untreated ADHD

➡️ Many people groups are underdiagnosed and undertreated

➡️ People who have struggled for years now feel empowered to seek out an ADHD assessment

Isn’t this obvious to us all?

The obvious reasons for the rise in demand for ADHD services 📝

The rising demand for ADHD services can be attributed to many things, and it shouldn’t be entirely boiled down to an overdiagnosis of ADHD.

1️⃣ The underdiagnosis of girls, women, in particular, women of colour

2️⃣ An increase in ADHD Awareness and greater visibility

3️⃣ Increase in ADHD assessments

The underdiagnosis of girls, women, in particular, women of colour

👩‍🏫 In 1997, a meta-analysis on gender differences and ADHD results showed that ADHD among girls went undetected by teachers and those seeking care had greater difficulties compared to boys.

🐠 As a pre-teen and a teen, I ticked every box for ADHD. My teacher had told my parents that I had the attention span of a goldfish; I was outwardly hyperactive to the point where it became disruptive in classes.

🧑‍💼I was referred to a counsellor by my school, whom I had to see between classes, and she taught me techniques to manage my hyperactive traits.

I was so embarrassed, omg.

The possibility that I could have ADHD never came up. However, I did attend an all-girls catholic school.

| “A 2013 study categorized Black girls as one of the most historically overlooked demographics of all” - Jess Joho

An article I was featured in on Mashable titled, How social inequities feed into the under-diagnosis of ADHD details how ‘marginalised and underprivileged people are left chronically underdiagnosed and undertreated.’

I am begging you all to find time to read the article.

📣 An increase in ADHD Awareness and greater visibility

👉 In 1994, a conference on gender differences in ADHD demonstrated that girls had been virtually excluded in the comprehensive field of ADHD research.

👉 There were questions on whether ADHD was a valid diagnosis for girls, which we are now seeing the impacts of today.

In addition, earlier beliefs suggested that kids outgrow ADHD. These beliefs have since been challenged, with some studies revealing that not all kids outgrow ADHD symptoms.

🎯 These long-held beliefs are presumably why many people slipped through the cracks and are only now being diagnosed in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s!

| The “maybe I’m developing early onset dementia” to “Oh, I have ADHD” pipeline

👩‍⚕️ My ADHD Diagnosis came as a result of thinking that I had early-onset dementia in my 20s.

There I was, in my early 20s, sitting in my GP’s office, taking a brief memory test, which proved that I did not have early-onset dementia.

What happened next?

• 🎬 Two years later, a Netflix documentary showcasing adults with ADHD hit very close to home.

• Watching the documentary and doing additional research was the beginning of my 1-year and 6 months long ADHD assessment process before I was eventually diagnosed after seeing two psychiatrists via the UK NHS.

🎯 The increase in ADHD awareness online has been a positive contributing factor in people identifying that what they have been struggling with for many years could be ADHD or another form of Neurodivergence.

🎯 If people only knew what it felt like to wonder what is “wrong with my brain” and finally have the answers and the support to live a full and meaningful life.

Increase in ADHD assessments 🧑‍⚕️👨‍⚕️

There is a possibility that the increase in ADHD assessments correlates with an increase in ADHD diagnoses. I don’t know this to be a fact, but it’s not outside of the realm of possibilities.

As you have all read throughout this post, many people with ADHD have spent years of their lives undiagnosed. Undiagnosed does not mean an absence of ADHD symptoms or challenges.

I should say that I welcome any efforts by the review to prioritise the expansion of ADHD services and the reduction of the ADHD assessment waiting list period.

If you have been paying attention, you’ll understand why the framing of ADHD overdiagnosis is not only wrong but incorrect.

That’s all from me.

Rach, with ADHD.

Does anyone else give people the death stare when they interrupt you mid Hyperfocus?

Today, we are going to dive into How to Stay Focused When You Have ADHD.

This post follows on from my previous newsletter, ‘Struggling To Stay Focused With ADHD’.

Let’s focus!

To focus is to pay particular attention to something. However, it’s one thing to get focused; it’s another thing to stay focused for a sustained period.

As people with ADHD, you have to understand that we are already at a disadvantage in the focus department. ADHD symptoms of being easily distracted, difficulty sustaining attention, impatience, and procrastination impact our ability to focus.

This is where ADHD coping strategies come into play.

Shall we begin?

How to stay focused when you have ADHD?

It should come as no surprise to you that many people with ADHD struggle with staying focused. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. It’s in the title.

So what does this mean for us?

It is not that we are incapable of focusing; it simply means that we have to try a little harder to maintain our focus.

Don’t get me wrong, some of us find it easy to focus and even hyperfocus when:

• We are working on something quick and easy

• We are super interested in the hobby

• We have taken our ADHD meds

• The dopamine is dopamine’ing

• We are forced to focus because we waited until the last minute, and now we’re driven by anxiety in light of a looming deadline

My parting gift to you is a list of ADHD coping strategies that help me when I’m struggling to stay focused.

ADHD focus strategies (1)

➡️ The Reward System - Focus on a reward that you really desire and yearn for

➡️ Gamification - Make it competitive to give yourself a sense of urgency

➡️ Body Doubling - In-person or virtual, with someone who won’t distract you

➡️ Fidget Toys (e.g. Tangle) - They are great to have in hand when reading

➡️ Pomodoro technique - You can choose to break work into 20/25/30-minute intervals

ADHD focus strategies (2)

🔀 Productive procrastination - Do something else that would be a good use of your time, and then switch back to the task when you feel motivated.

🔀 Listen to music/podcast - Listen to music you don’t know the lyrics to, so it doesn’t distract you from the task.

🔀 Work on something quick and easy at first to get the focus flow going.

🔀 Deprive yourself of an immediate need until you have made progress - see tweet thread of unhealthy coping strategies *not an endorsement*

ADHD focus strategies (3)

💊 ADHD medication - Your doctor will work with you on the type, dosages, etc

🧠 Overcome analysis paralysis - Watch my YouTube video to help you get started

🔄 Pivoting - Your inability to focus could indicate a lack of interest in something you should absolutely drop. e.g. a boring book

🥨 Chewing gum and snacking keep me in a flow state

🎯Eliminate distractions - For example, book a meeting room in the office to work from, go to a quiet cafe, or work in a library that has a STRICT noise and phone policy

💡 FULLY FOCUSED

The focus strategies I have shared above are, of course, a non-exhaustive list. Some strategies will be more useful than others.

I need to say that we’re not machines or robots. It is not healthy for us to feel pressured to be ‘on’ all of the time.

Rest, take care of your mental health, and deprioritise what you can no longer carry.

I hope this newsletter has been helpful.

That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD

Hi ADHDers, how are we all doing? I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas!

Raise a hand if you struggle to focus.

🖐️ 🖐🏻🖐🏼🖐🏽🖐🏾🖐🏿🖐️

Congratulations! You have come to the right place. Today, we are diving into ADHD and focus, well, the lack thereof.

It really irks me when Non-ADHDers say things like: “Why don’t you just sit and focus on it for an hour and then it will get done?”

It’s almost as if we haven’t tried that, or we don’t have ADHD

Forgive me, that was a little snarky.

Let’s get into:

• Why we struggle to focus with ADHD

• How to stay focused with ADHD

Identifying and addressing the source of your inability to focus is what will enable you to eliminate what is standing between you and your focus.

This post is worth focusing on.

Shall we begin?

Why do we struggle to focus?

Why do we struggle to focus?

Look, there are many reasons, but I have narrowed it down to the big 3:

• ADHD

• Lack of interest, motivation, and desire

• Health Conditions (e.g. Iron deficiency anaemia) or Mental Health

The Cambridge dictionary defines focus as:

“The main or central point of something, especially of attention or interest”

To state the obvious, people with ADHD have an ‘attention deficit’, meaning we have difficulty with regulating our attention. This can manifest as getting easily distracted, finding it difficult to sustain attention, and being impatient, etc.

Easily distracted

Let’s take getting easily distracted as an example. I split distractions into:

• Internal distractions - Your thoughts, RSD/emotions, brain fog, daydreaming

• External distractions - Noisy environment, clutter, people, life circumstances

➡️ You are sitting in an open-plan, noisy office, and you are trying to work on a project. All of your attention, thoughts, and emotions are on how annoyingly noisy the office is. This is what has captured your focus.

➡️ To shift your focus to the project, you need to eliminate the external distraction. This could be accomplished by booking a meeting room to work from or using noise-cancelling headphones to focus.

As simple as it seems, when you are struggling to focus, it can be hard to think through things clearly.

Lack of interest, motivation or desire

You know when you are super interested in something that gives you this childlike excitement, and you are hooked, internally fulfilled, and completely hyperfixated on it?

Sometimes, the issue isn’t a lack of focus, discipline or your ADHD brain. Some things just aren’t interesting.

A perfect example of this is reading a book. I used to think my attention span was too short to read fiction books nowadays. Until I recently read the book Yellowface. I was immediately hooked, and I finished reading the book in record time.

I realised my attention span wasn’t the issue; I just hadn’t found a book or a genre that was interesting enough to keep my attention.

Other reasons why we might struggle to focus

In addition to ADHD, there are other factors, such as health conditions, that might be impacting your ability to focus.

• Iron deficieny aneamia

• Fatigue

• Stress

• Anxiety

• PMS

I’m anaemic and I’m not the greatest at taking my iron supplements. This results in me feeling fatigued and low on energy. My ADHD medication is not as effective when I am low on iron.

How to stay focused when you have ADHD

For some people, staying focused can be as simple as flicking a light switch on and off.

As people with ADHD, we need to make several adjustments just to get started and maintain being in a focused state. This could be in the form of ADHD coping strategies, routines, and finding workarounds.

This newsletter was getting too long, so my next newsletter will be on ‘How to stay focused when you have ADHD’. I will include a list of ADHD Coping Strategies and workarounds you could use to help you stay focused.

That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD.

“Having ADHD is getting frustrated because you’re spending forever and a day on one document that shouldn’t take you long to complete, but your brain isn’t cooperating” -

➡️ Do you find yourself getting frustrated quite often?

• You know, the type of frustration that makes you want to scream into the void.

• The type of frustration that makes you mad at yourself for not being able to get it together.

• The type of frustration that makes you wish you didn’t have ADHD.

Those types of frustration.

Sometimes we don’t voice our frustrations because it’s uncomfortable, embarrassing or difficult to explain to people who won’t understand. BUT:

Shall we begin?

ADHD And The Cycle Of Frustration

Yes, everyone gets frustrated; it’s a common emotional reaction.

However, having a Neurodevelopmental condition that impacts your day-to-day life breeds another level of frustration. You are not only frustrated with yourself, but also with how ADHD affects your decisions, friendships, finances, goals, and mental health.

“Anyone else with ADHD feel guilty for not catching up with certain people that actually mean a lot to you? Even though they probably understand, it still makes me feel unsettled on the inside. There’s always a lot going on and I’m so easily overwhelmed” -

The ADHD frustration of finding out that you have ADHD 🧠

Let me explain, when I was formally diagnosed with ADHD, I felt relieved for finally getting answers, but I also felt a sense of frustration for being diagnosed this late in life. Thoughts of what could have been if I had been diagnosed as a child raced through my mind.

The signs of having ADHD were very much there for me as a kid; if I had known earlier, navigating ADHD as an adult would be much easier.

Can anyone else relate?

The ADHD Frustration of Incurring ADHD Tax 💰

I describe ADHD Tax as the costs incurred due to difficulties managing ADHD traits.

For example:

• 💰Having to pay an increased fine because you forgot to pay the original fine, or because you lost the paperwork.

• 💳 Ending up in credit card debt because of being impatient, impulsive, and not paying attention to details led you to take out a credit card with high interest rates and fees.

🎤 Tips on Me: Always set reminders, get a second opinion, review your recent transactions, and double-check! | Watch my YouTube video on Managing ADHD Tax.

The ADHD Frustration of Procrastination 🫣

We all know the feeling of having a mental wall lodged in our brains so well.

Neurotypicals struggling with procrastination and ADHDers struggling with procrastination are not the same thing.

• Person: “It shouldn’t take you too long”

• Me: “Please, I have to complete the ADHD Olympics before I even get started: Distractions, procrastination, analysis paralysis, overwhelm, researching and going down the rabbit hole, the list goes on”

🎤 Tips on Me: How to Overcome Analysis Paralysis

The ADHD Frustration of being forgetful and misplacing things 🔑

Some people with ADHD inattentive type traits, have trouble remembering things over a short period of time and are forgetful due to poor working memory.

🎤 Tips on Me:

🎯: Write things down - you will forget.

🎯: Set repeat reminders and alarms (with notes), the constant notifications will irritate you to the point where it’s ingrained in your mind.

🎯: Have a basket or shelf where you leave your keys and other important things.

This might be very obvious and an act you think might not make a huge difference, but it does. You will get in the habit of creating a pattern, establishing a routine and recalling information.

The ADHD frustration of not finishing a project 😓

“Asking someone with ADHD what happened to the project they said they were working on is a HIPAA violation” -

As people with ADHD, we’re never short of ideas, hobbies, and the urge to build, create and work on a new thing.

The problem is the inability to complete something, which can be due to boredom, challenges, shiny object syndrome, procrastination, etc.

Breaking The Cycle of Frustration 🔄

We have all established that having ADHD can be a little frustrating at times, right?

However, I have learned that I can:

1. Reduce how often I get frustrated by using coping strategies to manage ADHD

2. Control how I react by pivoting to a different emotion when I feel myself getting frustrated, so it’s no longer the default.

I’m not writing this from a woe-is-me or a self-loathing perspective.

I’m writing this because I know many people with ADHD are frustrated and would appreciate having someone validate their frustrations.

I hope this post was reassuring.

That’s all from me.

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Rach, with ADHD.

The ability to sit through a video that is longer than 60 seconds is diminishing. The thought of reading a paragraph that is longer than 140 characters gets the “I ain’t reading all that, I’m happy for you though, or sorry that happened” treatment.

This phenomenon of declining attention spans has led some people to question whether they might have ADHD.

I’m here to tell you that you can experience ADHD symptoms but not have ADHD. Difficulty Sustaining Attention is 1 of the approximately 18 ADHD symptoms listed in the DSM.

What I think the majority of people are experiencing is Brain Rot.

Shall we begin?

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Is it ADHD or Brain Rot?

Are you experiencing ADHD or Brain Rot?

Brain rot, what a word.

“Brain rot’ is defined as “the supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as the result of overconsumption of material (now particularly online content) considered to be trivial or unchallenging. Also: something characterized as likely to lead to such deterioration”. - Oxford Dictionary

The effects of brain rot can include the inability to focus, a shorter attention span, struggling to be productive, feeling like your brain is slower, mental fatigue, and constant distraction.

Let’s pause here.

You might be thinking, I experience some of this as someone with ADHD. Well, yes, that’s because we have a Neurodevelopmental Disorder where symptoms usually start before the age of 12. Even though many of us are late diagnosed or, in some cases undiagnosed/

However, we are witnessing people who have never had short attention spans develop shorter attention spans. Unbeknownst to them, aimlessly scrolling, moving from meme to meme, and hyperfixating on reaction videos is causing Brain Rot. Despite this, we can prevent, reverse and put an end to Brain Rot.

🎯 The trouble is, people are not pinpointing Brain Rot as the source of their deterioration; instead, they assume it’s an ADHD problem, while the culprit, Brain Rot, remains at large. 🥷🏿

| Annnnnd the ‘everyone is a little ADHD’ crowd goes silent!

Is this newsletter starting to feel too long?

➡️ Let’s not reduce ADHD to simply a short attention span disorder. Many people with ADHD don’t have short attention spans; we mustn’t disregard the other traits ADHDers struggle with.

➡️ Let’s not falsely label what can be reversed by changing habits, consumption and instilling discipline.

Do I Still Have Your Attention?

Because nuance is becoming a lost art, this newsletter is not:

• Ruling out people’s suspicions of possibly having ADHD

• Ruling out stress, the pandemic, and anxiety as contributors

• Seeking to belittle or demonise people who are experiencing brain rot

We have all been through unprecedented times. This has led many people (including myself at times) to turn to doomscrolling, watching low-value content, and being chronically online as a form of escapism.

Let’s be mindful of the language we use when referencing ADHD. This influences how people perceive people with ADHD, which can negatively impact us when seeking additional support or accommodations.

That’s all from me,

Rach, with ADHD

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Hi ADHDers! How’s it going?

One thing about being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult is realising that there is SO MUCH to learn.

Post ADHD diagnosis clarity will have you realising that you’re not broken, you’re not a failure, and there is indeed an explanation for the things you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

Once I got over the initial guilt, shame, and thoughts of what could have been, I decided to sit down and study patterns of how ADHD manifests in my life.

Shall we begin?

What I’ve Learned About My ADHD Brain

Here’s everything I’ve learned about my ADHD brain so far:

1️⃣ The main ADHD traits that interfere with my everyday life the most, and the coping strategies that work best for me.

2️⃣ I’m driven by desire, purpose, and interest; I need to have roles in my career that fulfil this.

3️⃣ A light-touch system /structure instead of a rigid routine works best for me.

4️⃣ My brain isn’t broken, it’s just wired differently.

5️⃣ I NEED coping strategies to make my life easier, and that’s ok.

6️⃣ Anxiety is a co-occurring condition of my ADHD.

7️⃣ People who constantly trigger my Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) are people I should not have in my life.

8️⃣ I can’t give myself a window to procrastinate; it will last for months.

9️⃣ My driven-by-a-motor ADHD brain gives me the fuel I need, but also leads to burnout.

✨Tips on me: Take some time and make a list of all the ways ADHD impacts you ✨

Why understanding your ADHD brain matters 💡

Working with your ADHD brain is simply figuring out how to make things work in a way that makes it easier for your brain to process and approach tasks.

When you’re feeling that mental friction and barrier that you can’t quite push past, it’s a sign to switch gears.

Pivot when something isn’t working instead of forcing it because you feel like you should be doing it that way.

• ➡️ For Example, when I’m experiencing a mental block when drafting a piece of documentation in MS Word:

• ➡️ I open a draft email in MS Outlook, and I write down the key points I want to convey in the document

• ➡️ Momentum builds, and I enter into a flow state, then I switch back to MS Word and begin writing again.

Sound ridiculous?

Well, this works for me!

🧠 Why working with your ADHD Brain matters

• ⬜️ You will be less frustrated when adapting to your brain’s ways of working

• 🟦 You will figure out what coping strategies work best for you instead of trying out the latest ‘ADHD hack’

• ⬜️ It will help your self-esteem and your stress levels

• 🟦 You will be in a better place to advocate for yourself in the workplace and when you need ADHD accommodations

• ⬜️ Your communication with friends, family and relationships will improve

• 🟦 You will stop beating yourself up so often

I’m curious, what have you learned about your ADHD brain?

That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD.

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Hi ADHDers!

→ Happy ADHD Awareness Month! This year’s theme is ‘The Many Faces of ADHD’.

This is probably the quietest ADHD Awareness Month I’ve observed, and I think it really chimes with the ongoing sentiments surrounding ADHD.

Nowadays, all I see are comments like:

• “Everyone seems to have ADHD now”

• “ADHD is a new fad or quirk”

• “ADHD isn’t real, it’s just an excuse”

• “ADHD is caused by the environment and sugar”

• “Can these people do anything!?”

→ Are you seeing this as well?

I feel like it’s a mixture of ragebait, ignorance and people having a distorted view of what ADHD is/isn’t based on what they’ve seen online.

Let’s talk about why ADHD isn’t caused by eating McDonald’s.

Shall we begin?

👩‍🏫 What is ADHD?

I don’t want to be preaching to the choir here, but Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is defined as a Neurodevelopmental disorder in the DSM-5.

ADHD symptoms tend to begin in childhood; however, “the disorder could have been masked in childhood due to protective factors, such as a supportive family environment.”

The DSM categorised ADHD into three types:

• ADHD Inattentive Type

• ADHD Hyperactive-Impulsive Type

• ADHD Combined Type

How do these types manifest for some people?

The example symptoms in the Venn diagram are drawn from the DSM. Other traits have been linked to ADHD (e.g. Time Blindness) but are not listed in the DSM.

Look, I don’t think the DSM is perfect, and I feel like there’s a need for it to be updated in line with more recent research.

→ But can I be honest for a second?

I’ve seen how people creating new traits (generalised ones) and co-opting terms from other disorders have confused people and resulted in people being misdiagnosed or being denied an ADHD assessment.

I get that this might be due to conflating ADHD comorbidities, or for some people, chasing clicks and virality.

An ADHD diagnosis doesn’t come with a manual or a blueprint on how to navigate adulting with ADHD.

This is why I created the ADHD Traits Flashcards for adults to understand each ADHD trait, read examples in adulthood and have access to coping strategies.

🎭 The Many Faces of ADHD

Gone are the days of being outwardly hyperactive as the determining factor of whether or not someone could have ADHD.

🎰 Wanna play a game? → Which person could have ADHD based on the scenario?

1️⃣- A parent of a child with ADHD is running late to an appointment, and he cannot find his keys or the paperwork that he planned to complete on the way to the appointment.

2️⃣- An A&E Doctor who thrives in fast-paced environments, who is comfortable dealing with uncertainty and good at connecting the dots.

3️⃣- A person with a toothache who realises they might need a dental filling but delays going to the dentist and treats the pain with OTC meds until the pain becomes so unbearable that they’re forced to see a dentist, which has now led to needing a tooth extraction.

4️⃣- All of the above

✨Answer: You probably guessed right! ✨

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

🟪 If you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD.

🟨 ADHD manifests differently in everyone, as our experiences will vary. Some people will struggle with ADHD ‘symptoms’ that others might not struggle with.

🟦 Some people may mask their ADHD, while others may visually display behaviours linked to ADHD.

🤹 Adulting with ADHD

Let’s face it, being an adult can be hard. But being an adult with ADHD is another kettle of fish.

Yes, there are many strengths that those of us with ADHD have and can bring to workplaces, projects, society and life. We should celebrate this, too.

But the key messages I’d like people to take away from reading this are:

🎯ADHD is a Neurodevelopmental disorder, not a gimmick.

🎯Adults have ADHD too!

🎯If you’ve met one person with ADHD, you’ve met one person with ADHD.

🌀If you enjoyed reading this and feel like we need to take control of the ADHD narrative, please share this newsletter. 🌀

Together we can combat misinformation, ADHD erasure and hate.

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That’s all from me!

Rach with ADHD.

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→ I’m Rach Idowu. I was formally diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type over 5 years ago by two psychiatrists via the UK National Health Service (NHS). This process lasted around 1 year and 6 months, and I’ve lived to tell the tale of what it’s like, Adulting with ADHD.

Hi ADHDers!

How is everyone doing?

We’re always overwhelmed because we are juggling way too many things to keep up with.

I’m talking about the type of juggling a juggler does at the circus.

🤹 🤹‍♂️ 🎪🤹🤹‍♂️🎪🤹🤹‍♂️🎪🤹🤹‍♂️🎪

Some of us juggle so much because of:

🧠 Our driven-by-a-motor ADHD brains

🧠 Shiny Object Syndrome

🧠 Getting easily distracted

🧠 Our many ideas and interests

Have I missed anything?

If this is your life, you are not a failure; you have too much on your plate.

Shall we begin?

There is too much on your plate 🍽️

You are not a failure; you have too much on your plate.

As ADHDers, we’re driven by our interests, hyperfixations, a sense of urgency, shiny object syndrome, multi-tasking and wanting to do it all.

These are great qualities that bring out our creativity, willingness and entrepreneurial spirit. Where it doesn’t work in our favour is when:

• We feel stuck with no clear path in sight

• We don’t see any results due to abandoning projects

• We’re burned out and exhausted

• We get stuck in a loop of procrastination and decision paralysis

• Overwhelm becomes a consistent feeling in our lives

I recently realised this about myself. I was getting frustrated, feeling like I wasn’t living up to my potential despite being productive.

Is this all making sense?

One bleeder at a time

“One bleeder at a time” is a quote I heard in an episode of Station 19.

Sometimes focusing on one thing at a time, despite the chaos, despite feeling like you’re behind in life, despite what everyone else is doing, can be the best thing for you.

👉 I know, it’s not easy. It’s a major shift in how we operate.

🤔 But if being a professional juggler isn’t beneficial for you, why not try the act of focusing on one bleeder at a time?

I can’t tell you what to focus on. However, I can share what has worked for me:

1. Juggle list - Writing a list of everything I am juggling and highlighting i) what I had to do, ii) what I enjoy the most.

2. One bleeder at a time - I’ve minimised multi-tasking by not starting something until I have completed something or canned it.

3. Prioritise - I followed the steps in this video on setting and sticking with goals

4. Grace - Taking a chill pill and getting rid of negative self-talk. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

This post won’t be for everybody. But if this sounds like your life, you are not a failure; you have too much on your plate.

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That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD

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Hi ADHDers!

I know, it’s been a while.

I’ve been feeling guilty for not publishing a newsletter in two months.

But this is perfect timing because we’re going to dive into the guilt that comes with having ADHD.

It’s Nerve-wracking. Joy-stealing. Gut-wrenching. Soul-destroying.

Shall we begin?

🤕 ADHD and Guilt

“Having ADHD is feeling guilty every now and again because you feel like you’re constamtly holding yourself back” - AdultingADHD

I feel like we don’t speak enough about the guilt we experience as people with ADHD.

Perhaps it’s because it’s not a nice feeling, it’s too painful to confront, and it can be all-consuming.

Here’s a list of common examples of ADHD Guilt:

😔 The post-diagnosis guilt of thinking about what your life could’ve been like if you got diagnosed earlier in life

🥄 The guilt of not having the spoons to respond to messages or engage with friends

😣 The guilt of starting multiple projects but not finishing them

💰 The guilt of all the impulsive decisions you’ve made and the ADHD Tax

😡 The guilt Neurotypicals cast upon us

We’ve all felt this at some point. Right?

💡Navigating ADHD Guilt

I feel like we put too much pressure on ourselves to “fix” our brains and strive to do better because we’re Neurodivergent.

Whether it’s trying out many self-development books, forcing ourselves to fit Neurotypical standards, pushing ourselves to the limit, or punishing ourselves for not doing “good enough”.

But at what cost? It shouldn’t be rooted in shame, guilt, or brokenness.

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

Our value shouldn’t be determined by how productive we are, how much we’ve achieved or how well we’re doing in life. You are much more precious than that.

👉 Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big believer in self-improvement, growth and personal success, but not at the expense of my mental health.

This is your sign to give yourself another chance to begin again.

Accept that things can change, and you don’t need to cage yourself in guilt. 🤏

How to Cope with ADHD Guilt

I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have all of the answers, and I’m still figuring it out.

But give yourself some grace and don’t hold onto the guilt.

📣 Life is about learning, making mistakes and trying again and again. Don’t let guilt rob you of the joy that’s on the other side of letting it all go.

Baby steps to coping with guilt:

• Speak to a therapist, counsellor, or friends

• Write your feelings down on a piece of paper so it doesn’t consume your mind

• Don’t sit with it or ruminate

• Adjust any habits or patterns with things that lead you to guilt, e.g. managing ADHD Tax

• Listen to an encouraging podcast, YouTube video, a sermon, or audiobook to make you feel good on the inside

Finally, you’re not a bad person, a failure or a lost cause.

Give yourself grace, you deserve it!

That’s all from me

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Rach, with ADHD.

Hi ADHDers, AuDHDers, ND folk!

Am I the only person who gets the Sunday scaries before work on Monday?

Honestly, sometimes I have no idea why. Pretty bad for my nervous system, I’d bet.

I chalk it down to some of the struggles we tend to deal with being in the workplace as people with ADHD.

Whether it’s the internal battles, circumstances or the general difficulties that come with navigating a neurotypical-driven workplace.

*deep sighhhhhhh*

I’m really excited to announce that I’ve been invited to speak at The Autism and ADHD Show at 10:30 am on Saturday, 21st June, at the Business Design Centre in London.

I’ve also been given a table to sell the ADHD Cards, give free fidgets and sell the Not Neurotypical T-shirts. They were very popular last month at MCM Comic Con London:

Link to browse the shop here.

ADHD Dilemmas in the Workplace

I’ll be speaking about some of these common ADHD Dilemmas, strategies I have used to find workarounds and make work and life much easier and what companies should do to make the workplace inclusive for their Neurodivergent employees.

Which ADHD work dilemma do you relate to?

• Wondering whether or not to disclose that you have ADHD to your manager and colleagues

• Feeling stressed out because you have many questions, because people’s instructions weren’t clear, but not wanting to come across as silly.

• “I said yes to everything, of course, I’m feeling overwhelmed”

• Feeling restless, and it’s only 1 pm.

• Imposter Syndrome

• Having an opinion or input but not wanting to come across as “too much”

Can you relate?

I’ll be talking through workplace challenges, strategies I have used in my 10-year career in the corporate world, and I’ll be doing Q&A.

You can grab tickets for The Autism & ADHD Show this Saturday, June 21st at the Business Design Centre in London at autismadhdshow.co.uk . My talk starts at 10:30 AM.

*GIVEAWAY*: I have a handful of FREE tickets to give away. Send me a message or an email to claim one with a code.

That’s all from me!

Rach with ADHD.

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Hi ADHDers!

I hope you’re all having a great week.

I write this, curled up in bed, as it’s that time of the month for me.

For those who don’t know what I mean, I’m talking about my period.

I don't blame you if you’ve squirmed, squealed or even cringed. But it’s all a part of the circle of life, so let’s talk about it!

A couple of hours ago, I tweeted that “We need more research on hormones and how they impact Women with ADHD, especially when we’re on our periods”.

Since I’m stuck in bed, I’m going to share my initial thoughts.

Shall we begin?

ADHD, PMS and Me

There comes a time every month when my ADHD seems a lot harder to manage and cope with, and nothing works. The perpetrator is PMS!

Like all of a sudden, my meds are ineffective, I rarely have the motivation or mental clarity to adopt the many coping strategies in my arsenal, and I feel like I'm discombobulated.

Is this starting to sound familiar?

What is PMS and PMDD?

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) refers to symptoms women may experience before their period, including:

• Feeling anxious, depressed

• Fatigue

• Poor concentration

• Mood swings

• Physical symptoms, e.g. bloating, cramps

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a much more severe form of PMS and symptoms include the above and also:

• Increased sensitivity to rejection

• Excessive sleeping or difficulty sleeping

I don’t know about you, but I realised many of these symptoms overlap with some ADHD symptoms and commonly linked traits.

For example, in this table, I mapped out:

I found that my ADHD meds are less effective in the days leading up to my period. According to an article I came across on WebMD:

“There’s some scientific evidence that stimulants have a greater effect when combined with estrogen. As those levels drop in the days leading up to your period, you may see your symptoms get worse.” - Stephanie Langmaid

Crappy!

Research

I am still in the early stages of reading what’s out there, there isn’t much and it’s all quite difficult to understand with the medical jargon. But here are links to articles on conditions I haven’t touched on:

• Article on ADHD and Menopause.

• Article on ADHD and PCOS

• Article on ADHD and Menstrual Cycle

If you have any insights, experience or thoughts on hormonal impacts on ADHD, please share in the comments below.

That’s all from me,

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Rach with ADHD.

This year, I took a leap of faith and applied to have a stall at MCM Comic Con, and I was accepted - thank God! I had the opportunity to sell the ADHD cards and Not Neurotypical T-shirts.

Key themes from people I spoke with across the 3 days:

• Many people have been on the waiting list for an ADHD assessment for 3- 5 years.

• Parents brought their kids to the stand and spoke about the lack of SEND support in schools, difficulties trying to get their kids assessed and how they were diagnosed with ADHD after their child was.

• Adults recently diagnosed in their 40s and 50s asked for guidance on how to explain ADHD to people at their corporate workplace.

• A few Autistics are currently exploring whether they also have ADHD.

My highlight was speaking to so many ADHDers, AuDHDers and people (educators, parents, health practitioners) who genuinely wanted to learn more about ADHD.

Also, speaking on the Neurodiversity panel and chatting with our amazing audience, who asked great questions.

Rach, with ADHD

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The challenges of being Neurodivergent: seen, unseen, and everything in between.

Shall we begin?

SILENCED, NOT SILENT

We shouldn’t conflate the increase in awareness of Neurodiversity through articles, resources, and advocacy with actual progress in changing societal attitudes.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy with the increase in awareness but awareness alone won’t lead to meaningful change for Neurodivergent people.

• We have awareness but little action.

• We have conferences but little change.

• We have initiatives but little impact.

#ThisIsNotFine

We need to address the lack of empathy, accountability and unwillingness to be inclusive of Neurodivergent people in many spaces.

The harsh reality is that some people just don’t care.

This includes people working in education, managers, leaders across various sectors, people in hobby clubs and the general public.

• Many Neurodivergent people don’t feel comfortable speaking about their experiences because of what others have experienced:

  • Disclosed they are Neurodivergent = Employer found an excuse to lay them off.

  • Requested accommodations = Told they were asking for too much.

  • Shared information about their diagnosis = The person was uninterested and downplayed the impact of Neurodivergence.

  • Advocated for themselves = Many of us are gaslighted and not given the benefit of the doubt.

Also, reasonable adjustments we request are seen by some as ‘receiving special treatment’.

So should we remain silent?

This is a question I asked myself when I experienced one of the above circumstances.

#ThisIsNotFine

#ThisIsNotFine

As most of you know, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type over 5 years ago by the UK NHS.

I have done a lot of inner work to rid myself of guilt, shame, embarrassment and stigma.

The hard part has been:

• Explaining to people that those with neurodevelopmental conditions might experience different challenges than someone without one, tailoring approaches can make things fairer and more supportive for everyone.

• Doing mental gymnastics when navigating spaces where I don’t feel comfortable or supported.

• Being the outsider.

#ThisIsNotFine

The changes I’d like to see

So many amazing people have been doing great work on Disability and Neuroinclusion. Let’s celebrate that!

Since my diagnosis, I’ve been an ADHD/Neurodiversity advocate and I’ve had the pleasure of being a guest speaker in companies across sectors, featured in news publications and podcasts and speaking at conferences.

I would like to see a people-centred approach. An organisation, a school, or an industry can be seen to be doing the right things and have the correct policies in place, but if the people there are not willing to be inclusive, efforts could fall flat.

A review of different continents that assesses:

• How many Neurodivergent people have been employed at companies signed up to the Disability Confidence Scheme?

• Lessons learned and case studies from the top-ranked employers

• Stats of Neurodivergent kids in Schools who are Supported vs Unsupported

• Changes companies have implemented following a training session or conference attendance

• Inclusion of people with lived experience in education, in the workplace, and the industry in key discussions.

Neurodivergent folk! Some of us have had good experiences, some of us have had terrible experiences. Feel free to share situations where you thought #ThisIsNotFine

That’s all from me!

Rach, with ADHD

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If you also dislike chores, come and clean with me in this video.

Procrastination, dread, scatter brain or analysis paralysis holds us back from doing things, even ‘simple’ things like household chores.

That’s ADHD for you!

Finding ways to get excited and simply tasks seem to help me quite a lot! What works for you?

*The wipes in the video are flushable*

Rach with ADHD.

Let’s talk friendship dilemmas.

We listen and we don’t judge!

Anyone else with ADHD feel guilty for not catching up with certain people that actually mean a lot to you? Even though they probably understand, it still makes me feel so unsettled on the inside. There’s always a lot going on and I’m so easily overwhelmed

Example of ADHD friendship dilemmas

DOES THIS RING ANY BELLS? 🔔

GUILTY AS CHARGED

We listen and we don’t judge!

One thing I will say is that I’ve gotten better at all of this. Thanks to ADHD Medication, coping strategies and being intentional on how I can be a better friend.

Look none of us are perfect and I’m thankful that I have friends who are able to give me grace.

To my fellow ADHDers, don’t beat yourself up about this. We’re a work in progress and we all deserve gracious friends

That’s all from me!

Rach with ADHD

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